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ever.

Cry, cry and smoke.

smoke while you cry.

This heart is broken.

This item is broken.

This hope is broken.

No, do not give you permission.

No I will not breathe.

You can not breathe, breathe

, Mary, breathe.

I can not, can not do more,

I forgot, I forgot,

me I am lost on the way the instruction manual,

you can not go back, I'm sorry

,

can not breathe,

I slowly die,

not want yours,

I do not want your life,

I want my, I want only my

,

but has been lost, is lost on the road,

and no going back,

not return ever.

* Excuse me if I do not respond to comments, I can not, I can only throw phrases on a white sheet, without really thinking about it, throw them there and then throw them to you here, hope you like them, forgive me if I am absent as a person for a while *

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not do it ...

'm pissed off. angry black, like a beast.

I read on a blog a girl who wants to kill.

Tell me why, why come to us so bad? No, do not tell me that is just the fault of others, crap!

Who does not eat? Who has started counting calories? Who has an immense desire to be watched, to be accepted, to be envied, to control everything and everyone? Us!

just us, not hide behind a fucking finger, which is useless.

A boy died two days ago. He left the family, girl, a life to live. He died by accident. He did not want to kill. E'morto stop. And instead of us here that while we complain people are dying of hunger. We want to kill because the pain is unbearable.

Shit, but the others are there? We are there other FUCK, FUCK highly there.

against everyone and everything to show us from the others which we have always fucked.

cazzooooooooooo ... But this is pure hypocrisy. Perennial contradiction.

We all know an asshole? we care that we take off alone. We want to disappear but to be looked at. Delirium day after day until we come to those who also hunt loves us and wants only to understand. Why? Because we are fucking assholes. Because at the end of a growing force within us that does nothing but remove disassemble and others, to get us to our goal that THERE .

I was 55 that I said I was 50, now I say 48. Then there will be 45? why not 40?

But why do not you kill me first?

spent months to kill us slowly. But just do it right? What we care, just do this shit to end. The shit that we have created them, we . We been shaped him and then of course we also believe that every right, if not the duty , to take that away from him.

Sti cocks the rest of the world, so they are the cause of our beginning.

How disgusting is the only thing I can think of.

That anger, an anger fucking. because it is right that we should kill a girl because she's evil, nobody has noticed? There is no justice. Those fucking assholes dick because they do not stop to give him? why do not you watch it, because this world of shit does not do something?

Because she does not rebel? why do we influence that? because we are not able to say "sti cocks" of these people shit shit that fills us with his heart instead of saying "sti cocks" of those who loves us?

I'm crazy, I want to do something, but nothing I can do nothing but cry like a fool and hope it does not kill you really, I did not like that day, I looked in the mirror for the first time and I realized that was not right .... it was not really ... it was not for me ...

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disgusting and changes

I deleted my photos.

How dare I put them?

suck.

were beginning to bother me, I could not open the blog.

suck.

I suck.

Moment depression, I do not overextend because I do not want to annoy anyone.

Apathy ball, alternating disgust and revulsion.

But all this will change, will one day change. I believe it will change.

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's been a few days, I seem to months.

I do not want to write more.

I should say too many things I am ashamed. I want to delete this blog and forget it, because it sucks. Like me I am disgusting. Thanks for the wonderful compliment, but I do not believe.

I'm not jealous, it looked, I see myself thin and beautiful. I put my pictures because now I do not give a shit. I put it, perhaps it is true

for a second could well be that I have liked, but did not feel mine. Those photos show a body that is not really mine.

light, position, all elements that lead to a lot of beautiful things. But when I see those pictures is like watching someone else's body, beautiful, certainly, but not enough. Not the way I am.

I placed another bottom half, I am about to enter and continue to swim in the balance between this and my world. What made mock beauty and happiness that I no longer believe.

lie to myself saying that I will feel better when I have reached my goal. I am a liar. Tion to others and me. But I can not do anything. They are puppets of a game that I can no longer stop and that makes me more happy. The numerical

rosi "no thanks" before I am fully self-control, now I feel a slave.

Slave of a body and empties ingurgita when he wants, without any satisfaction, only because it must.

Well sometimes I still feel powerful, to say "NO". But it happens less often.

or not eat because my stomach is closed because I eat too much or too empty. And I also have a sore throat then it means that I can not even trying to throw up (just because now I felt every day as well several times, without any results)

are a disappointment to everyone. But unfortunately a part of me is tired, the other one is sad is determined, and is the strongest. I'll start swimming,

eat less and will reach my goal and then as it is one of those places that will not end well ... I know that I will end. Fucking in hospital.

but I do not want, I do not own.

But I can not help but think that 50 is still too much. Can I expect better.

DO I expect better.

Maybe I will leave you for quite a while, I am ashamed to write, I feel stupid and a little help ...

but I will read more, I'll be quiet presence among you ... and when my apathy will leave you feedback without the slightest sense to me to feel close ...

A small kiss my ...

Mary.

THINSPIRATION